before this once again becomes a place to keep track of my monthly "to do" lists, i'll give a life update.
- my family welcomed jacob riley into the family in july on the day they were going to induce. he's super cute, the first baby of my immediate family...and already a month old!
- i broke up with the boy last month before he left for vacation. i just...couldn't do it anymore. there was a part of me that i felt was missing, maybe that i hid on purpose because i knew he wouldn't like it or something. i tried to convince myself that it was just part of growing up - older and wiser - but the bottom line was that i wasn't happy. how can you agree to spend your life with someone without being happy? and i've never been "into" marriage and kids so to me, it almost seems like i'd be settling. not settling on him because he's great. but settling on the situation - time is running out if i want to have a child. and i certainly am not too keen on settling and letting go of life's ambitions and desires. i guess there's a chance we could get back together, but at this point, it's not looking like it.
- i will celebrate two years at my job next month. whoop whoop!
- i am finally starting to get my apartment to feel like home. maybe once i've been in it a year, it will be all good.
- i met someone fun. totally different than what i'm usually into but fun. and by accident. neither one of us is looking for a relationship, so it's just...fun. i assume it is going to be an interesting experience b/c he's into some..interesting..things.
that's me in a nutshell as of recently. and, i must say that last weekend was the best time i've had in a long, long time. i felt like i have found the part that's been missing and i feel so ALIVE and happy. actually, genuinely happy. part of me feels bad that i couldn't have this feeling while with the boy, but i needed this time away. and, i'm glad because this time it was worth it. this time, progress is being made. and if it's progress that pushes him and i further apart, then that's what must be done.
yay for it being wednesday!!
