prayers please :)

i have TWO interviews coming up and would surely appreciate any prayers you'd offer up and good vibes you'd be willing to send my way!
- friday 10/7 @ 2:00, telephone interview for an environmental planner/code enforcement officer, western north carolina
- monday 10/10 @ 2:30, sit-down interview for a code enforcement officer/planning technician, south of charlotte (practically south carolina!)

prayers and kind thoughts are appreciated! :) it seems like everything these days is something/code enforcement. it's not an area in which i have site experience, but if that's what it's going to take to get my toe back in the door, then i'm game! plus, each of these jurisdictions are relatively small (one's a college town) so it wouldn't be a lot of territory to cover. wish me luck! :)

well. i am slightly devastated. i called yesterday about the job i interviewed for last week (since he said he'd call me by tuesday and he hadn't) to find out that despite a great interview, i was not selected. i tried my best to be gracious but as soon as i hung up, i cried. i cried every time i thought about it..every time i thought, "i am such a loser." loser. a word rarely found in my vocabulary but a way i've been feeling lately as time drags on. interview after interview. time after time of being told things like, "you're smart," "you're bright," "you have a lot of potential," "the right position will come along and you'll know it's the one," etc. it's hard to want to get excited for interviews because given my track record, what's the point?! i didn't tell my parents until late last night because i just felt so ashamed. i yelled at them (my dad) for not being more supportive of the way i was feeling...defeated, like a loser. i cried after taking B out..sat on her bed with my head in my hands and tears falling down my face (she tried to lick my tears, so sweet)...and then i went to bed.
today is a brand new day. i'm still sad. i still feel defeated, and even still like a loser. but that word doesn't hold same amount of weight today as it did yesterday. it's a job. i wanted it really badly. not just because it was a job for the jobless, but because of where it was...it meant going back to the charlotte area and getting out of raleigh..this rut. but, they didn't pick me. there's nothing i can do about it and i know that it's their loss. it does me no good to just sit around and cry about it. and, i'm proud to say that today, no tears fell. even when i thought about that word, loser. no tears because i know that i'm not.

God has a plan for me, of that i am sure. this plan, which is unknown to me, i cling to. because without my God, my faith, my world would be dark and i would be defeated. life goes on...there are more jobs to apply for and someday (soon, i hope), someone will say, "jessica, we choose you." to which i will respond, "it's about damn time!" ;)

update

just a quick update...

last wednesday, i had an interview for a county planner position. it went well..i should know by tuesday what the outcome of that position will be. on that very same day, i have another interview for a city planner/code enforcement officer position. i hope that one will go as well as last week's interview did. please say a prayer for me...i would like to be able to resolve my employment situation asap. of the two, i'd prefer the county job over the city just based on the fact that i prefer county planning over municipal...both are in great areas (near charlotte) and would be great opportunities. thank you!

opportunity!

last week, i had an interview for an internship opportunity with a town near raleigh. it's a part-time, unpaid gig but i am pleased to announce: i got the offer! FINALLY! after over a year, it's my first bite. i'm excited. they say they're busy and in need of an intern, so we'll see. i start tuesday @ 10am. i'm thinking 10a - 2p three days a week, but that will be finalized next week.

yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! :)

the hunt continues

monday, i had an interview down towards wilmington. i think it went okay, but considering how well i thought the last two had gone & still didn't get an offer, i'm not going to get too excited. so, it wasn't stellar but wasn't awful either. i think it'd be a great place to be, with the exception of where to live. i drove around for about an hour or so afterwards, and didn't really see any great housing options...guess that's what happens when you're near the beach (but how can you complain if you're near the beach?!). so, we'll see. i should know one way or the other by the end of the month or early into november (since my interview was towards the end of the process this time).
in other job news, i have another interview scheduled for nov. 10 in virginia. this job, to put it mildly, would be a few steps backwards. but, it is a planning gig so i would be thankful considering i'll soon be entering my 10th month of being unemployed (7th of being supported by the government). if nothing else, it's more interview practice. this one will be a panel of 3-5 staff members including the director. we'll see what shakes out.
more news: two more jobs in the charlotte area have posted that i am going to apply for...can you tell i'm itching to get back to the queen city?! one's for a planner southeast of charlotte (monroe) and the other is for a tech in the lake norman area. the 2nd, i actually had a telephone interview with them the first go-around (the post-college job hunt) for a planner. i lacked the experience then, but i have it now, so maybe that will bode well for me this time?!

pro-actively waiting to see what shakes out....

how i felt this week..

disappointed.

depleted.

depressed.

unmotivated.

angry.

exhausted.

lost.

waste of space/time/energy/etc.

thursday marked 8 months since my last day at the office. since january, i have applied for 29 positions, had 7 interviews, and here i sit. it sucks. and the truth of the matter is that monday, i got an e-mail from a planning director which informed me another candidate had been selected. this is a municipality i interviewed with when i was first getting into planning, for the same job. i REALLY wanted this one. and the fact of the matter is, that i lost. i lost. i thought it was my best interview yet. i was perky and enthusiastic and felt like i answered the questions better/confidently. and i lost. am i too confident? too perky? too eager? who knows. i even e-mailed this person in hope of getting some feedback (beyond competitive applicant pool & qualified candidate jibber jabber) and/or some tips to no avail. ugh. so this week, was my pity party.

culmination blouse

well behaved jacket

switching lanes cardigan

(navy)

obviously, i got in some retail therapy this afternoon...it was more about getting out of the house. but i am ecstatic to report that these items came home with me. i've been lusting after the blouse and jacket for quite some time..and bonus! last night i found the jacket to be on sale! :) the striped sweater was on sale too! and a pretty bracelet. :) i love anthropologie (although i still believe the stores in charlotte are way better than the one at southpoint).

this weekend, my parents and i are traveling to northern va/washington dc. we're going to see the sites (the "new" aerospace smithsonian) friday afternoon/saturday morning and then saturday, paige and paul will join us for a gladwin family reunion. mike, lisa and kelly are coming from california and jordan, charlotte and declan will be there as well. it's an opportunity to get together and catch up...i saw them at the wedding, but let's face it, i was more interested in beer, dancing and taking pictures; and, to meet the newest additions to the family. :)

bella will be spending the weekend at suite paws. i know she'll have a great time...and this time, the pool should be open (i hope she's careful, she's never been swimming before!).

i have some good news to report as well...yesterday, a town to which i'd applied called to set up an interview (tuesday 8/24). this afternoon, a city/county called to set up an interview as well (tuesday 8/31). i am really excited!! these two jobs i am super interested, plus i wouldn't have to move (well, not any great distance at least). on the new job front, i have 3 within nc to apply for and one in richmond, va (the first one closes 8/31, so when i get back from dc & after my interview, it's 'go time'!)....

hope everyone has a great weekend!

no dice.

"although you were a strong candidate, we have offered the position to someone else and they have accepted. good luck with your future endeavors."

so...i didn't get the carteret position. it's okay..it was a good job and great location, but it would have been a serious cut in pay. there are other opportunities out there..it just means that it wasn't the right one. there's a position in virginia i want to apply for, as well as one about 30 minutes outside chicago. it's a little bit more p&r than i have experience with, but also something i'm interested in. so, we'll see. :)

that's the update for now. hope y'all have a great weekend!

good news

still no job, but i think this bit of news is almost as sweet!

background: on monday, several newspapers ran press releases about the county having laid off 76 employees, and that they had received 6 months' severance. i had not seen the articles because they were in the salisbury post & the independent tribune (kannapolis). the gist was, besides the significant county-wide reduction (including an additional 4-5 from my department), that the county knew 4 years ago that there would be a gap in the budget and that the plan was to raise taxes to cover the gap. but, with the recession and gloomy economy, the commissioners decided not to raise taxes and instead do reduction in force layoffs. (knowing this new bit of information, the fact that the county was still hiring even just 6 months ago continues to baffle me!) well, long story short, i got a call monday. although i was not part of monday's mass reduction, and was only going to receive 2 months' severance, the county has now extended the additional four months' of severance to me, to make a total of six months. i feel very appreciative and blessed, because the county certainly wasn't required to extend that offer to me..but i certainly won't turn it down! the only catch, is that if i were to be rehired by the county, i would be required to pay back the pro-rated amount of the four months' pay. but, that is not in my immediate plan, so i should be good to go.

i'm planning to pay off the "black cloud" of debt and save the rest...once again, i feel very fortunate and blessed with this tidbit of gold that's been offered to me. :)

job hunt

i thought i would give a quick update since i've been home for almost a week already! with the exception of yesterday, which was my "i don't want to talk to anyone or be on the computer at all and just want to veg on the sofa with b all dang day," i've been on the internet searching all possible leads. there are a total of about 4 jobs out there that i'm interested in (including the 2 i've already applied for). there's just one itty-bitty problem: my printer is not cooperating at all. it will not print text. i have good cartridges and it was printing my pictures before christmas...so i've been looking at getting a new printer. the next problem? my os. i'm running os x tiger and the new printers run off os x leopard (and snow leopard is out now so i feel like i'm way behind with the times). so, i'm venturing out today to see if i can't find a temporary new printer that will run off tiger. otherwise, i feel like my only option is to back up everything i have on cd's and get my computer wiped (since my iBook is already running classic and tiger) and get snow leopard and a new printer.

does anyone else have any ideas?

so the job count is: orange county, nc (tech); statesboro, ga; knightdale, nc (tech); harker heights, tx. but i can't apply for the last two without a printer so i gotta get on this situation asap! i'll keep you posted!

hope everyone's having a good week! it's almost friday!! :)

**update: i was able to find a printer that runs on os x 10.4.11. yay! i wound up getting the one i'd been looking at for awhile: hp f4480. it's a 3-in-1 which is cool since my hp scanner died a long time ago...so, i'm gonna get my office area set up tonight (i've decided i'll have to move the futon back into the living room and move the chair in here for bella so that i'll still have room for her crate in the spare room) and be able to work on apps for the additional two jobs and hopefully get that stuff sent out saturday.**

today's the day

today is it...the last day in my office.

there's a lot to do before i turn out the light for the last time, but it's still going to be difficult. i don't want to get all mushy or sentimental, but it's an unfortunate position to be in. ....i've decided i'm going to take a week or two to get organized at my house (since my office is coming to live with me) and then go out in search of a part-time gig (or full-time)..because if i have nothing productive to do for the next two months, i'll go crazy. that, and i'd work out a lot and probably drink a lot...and sleep a lot. yikes. actually, the working out and sleeping part sounds pretty good..but i need something to get me up and at it every day.

...my sister comes this evening. we're gonna try to go to this new place, dandelion market, and have some fun because goodness knows, i need it! she'll stay with me tonight and then spend the rest of the weekend with leah. so, i'll be on my own tomorrow night. i behaved myself and stayed in last weekend, but i can't say the same for this weekend. 0:)

hope everyone has a great friday and lovely weekend.......

sealed fate

since it's official, i can elaborate on what's been going on the past few days. last wednesday, we had a staff meeting to talk about somewhat menial tasks and about the budget. my boss said, although it was still early in the process, that she didn't think we could make it through another fiscal year without some changes, aka layoffs. however, she couldn't give us any type of time line. my co-worker and i were the last ones hired (october 2007) for our department so it was natural to assume that she was talking directly to us. well, as of yesterday at 4pm, it was official. we are being laid off due to a "reduction in force".

it's an unfortunate situation at any time, but especially right now. although the economy itself is starting to pick back up (slowly but surely), the construction/development industry has not and probably will not for at least a couple years. unlike my co-worker, i am not angry. if you look at it realistically and logically, it makes sense. looking at trends, it makes sense. i'm thankful (if you can be at a time like this) that it's happening now as opposed to a year ago, when they transferred us to addressing part-time for a few months. now at least, i have 2+ years of experience under my belt as opposed to last year which would have been 1+ years. at least it will be a little bit easier finding a position with more experience than it would have been a year ago. i'm thankful for the experience in general. and, i think i'm in a better place personally/financially than i was a year ago. i've grown up a lot in my time here with the county. i'm young. it's not the end of the world. i know that i'm smart and that i'll bounce back. i'm trying to remain calm, which really isn't that hard since i started stressing about it last week. i'm just surprised it happened so quickly.

another positive: that it did happen so fast. because there are two jobs closing at the end of the week that i am going to apply for. one is in nc, near chapel hill, and the other is in southern georgia, about an hour from savannah. i'm fortunate that it happened now..because i'm young and single (except for bella) and have the ability to pick up and go just about anywhere (as long as the job and pay are decent) without having drag along a spouse and/or kids (like my co-worker). so, i'm sending my stuff out for these two jobs today on my lunch hour (and, i'm going to fax them too, in case mail is slow) and will keep my eyes/ears open for any leads. the county has offered us 60 days paid with benefits (as opposed to the standard 30), so that will help for sure...it'll cover me almost until my lease runs out. (the other positive, that i didn't give the new apartment any significant amount of money and if i have to walk away, i'm only out $25.) i'll try and get a part-time gig somewhere to help with income while i get back on my feet......my last official day, if i take the 60, will be march 18th. the day before my mother's birthday. please keep me in your thought and prayers if you would. and, if you know of any planning leads, let me know. ;)