how is it december already AND that this year is nearly complete? time travels too quickly! during the holiday season, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle, shopping and being merry, but please don't forget there is a single reason why we celebrate...Jesus Christ. i hope you all enjoy the season and remember now (and all year long) that Jesus IS the reason for the season. God bless!

despite the extra-specialness of december, here are my goals for the month:
- christmas shopping (i managed to get nearly all mine done yesterday. i only have paul and hannah left!) DONE!
- wrap/ship gifts DONE!
- write/mail cards (after a photo session with my furry baby) DONE!
- decorate (my dad's back/hip is impairing his movement/sleep/etc. so i have no idea when the tree will go up) DONE!
- church @ summit WENT!
- christmas @ summit WENT!
- occf (3-4 days/week) CF Total 12.14: back squat 100lbs, press 55lbs, deadlift 135lbs, total 290lbs. +75lbs than previous max lifts! :)
- massage
- FINALLY finish baby painting! DONE!!
- continue to sort/purge/organize/etc. Working on it...
- re-redo computer room DONE and RE-DONE (my folks didn't like me adding the filing cabinets)
- re-redo bonus room DONE and RE-DONE (fc's in new home w/ a desk from comp room for my dad's space)
- dinner @ second empire tavern (i have a living social voucher, but am in need of a date!) gave it away..no date. :(
- 12.15 occf holiday party @ busy bee WENT!
- job search continues...sunday 12.4 i'll apply for 2 online (NC & VA) and prepare a packet (NC). good news: i've made it to the pre-interview round for a job (NC) and have been invited to do a written evaluation (whoop! whoop!) i had an interview 12.12 in VA...went better than the typical "it went well" response. i should know by next week. but, the search/app process is always in progress.

before the month completely gets away from me, here are my goals for november. :)

- church @ summit (2 for 3 so far; monthly offering DONE)

- occf (3-4 days/week)

- schedule appointments (1 of 3 DONE)

- boyles' anniversary painting (DONE & delivered)

- woffords' baby painting (in progress)

- paintings for christmas gifts

- finish christmas planning/shopping/etc. (almost done)

- pack and store spring/summer clothes/shoes/etc.

- continue to sort/purge/reorganize/pack/etc.

- dentist appt. (DONE)

- follow-up dentist appt. (DONE)

- job hunt continues... (dream job closes 11/25)

no more excuses

source: triangle crossfit

on monday, september 26, i went back to the box. that's what people who crossfit call the gym. i neglected to mention it because i wanted to make sure i was doing it for the right reasons, for me and not anyone else. i've been going for 3 weeks now and i still enjoy it just as much as i did last year, but even more so. last year, when i joined forged, i felt like i was doing it because my sister wanted us to spend more time together. and yes, i wanted to get back in shape but i would've been okay with going to the ymca. plus, i was attracted to a couple boys which made me not want to look stupid. which is stupid. i've never been one to do something for a guy, so why would i have started at age 27? lol. so i stopped. i thought about working out and exercises i could modify to do at home, but i wasn't ready.

i kept making excuses. the #1 excuse? "i don't know how long i'll be in raleigh so why start now?" clearly, my reasoning failed me because i am STILL here. so, when paul & gio (& paige) opened their own affiliate, the excuses could only last so long. this time, i was ready. yes, i know my sister still wanted me to do it so that we could spend more time together and that's certainly a bonus, but that's not why i go. we have yet to be in the same class...

i saw this picture on triangle crossfit's blog tonight and it really hit home. what was i so scared of anyways...feeling good about myself? running farther than the day before? doing more pushups than i could the day before? push pressing 75 lbs? it's progress. mental progress of overcoming just going that first day (i didn't even tell paige i was going just in case i wussed out) and physical progress. my squats are deeper, the ripping of skin doesn't hurt so bad this time, the promise of newer workout gear looms...i already feel better about myself. i find myself standing up straighter and being just plain happier.

so long story short? i drank the kool-aid again and liked it. :) check out oak city crossfit. i like it better than forged: smaller class sizes, more one-on-one attention, people in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages, and everyone's really nice and encouraging! oh, and while you're there, check out the art! :)

prayers please :)

i have TWO interviews coming up and would surely appreciate any prayers you'd offer up and good vibes you'd be willing to send my way!
- friday 10/7 @ 2:00, telephone interview for an environmental planner/code enforcement officer, western north carolina
- monday 10/10 @ 2:30, sit-down interview for a code enforcement officer/planning technician, south of charlotte (practically south carolina!)

prayers and kind thoughts are appreciated! :) it seems like everything these days is something/code enforcement. it's not an area in which i have site experience, but if that's what it's going to take to get my toe back in the door, then i'm game! plus, each of these jurisdictions are relatively small (one's a college town) so it wouldn't be a lot of territory to cover. wish me luck! :)

october

wofford painting
m/d's anniversary painting
complete asu/assu
begin nb/mirror/storage swivel tower
valentina before 10/15
finish ch's book
read & return lam mag & planning text to my supervisor
adina's in NC!! :D
begin boyles' anniversary painting
redo bonus room while the 'rents are on vacay next week
oak city crossfit (3-4 days/wk)
saturdays @ summit
10 year high school reunion 10/15!!

one of my oldest friends beth anne, also known as blair, pinned this print.
i grew up with winnie and his adventures, but always adored piglet the most.
i had to share.

intentions for september

- church @ summit

- ecu v. south carolina @ charlotte 9/3 :D

- ecu v. virginia tech in greenville 9/10 :D

- complete baby painting

- complete painting for hannah

- complete large art storage unit (asu) project

- complete small art supply storage unit (assu) project

- sort/pack more of what's in bonus room

- goodwill

- finish chelsea handler book

- massage appointment

- look into storage unit rental rates

- apply for jobs....

indeed.

yes, life does go on.

in fact, i have another interview scheduled for wednesday, 8/31. i am quite excited for this interview, i can't help it. ;)

all prayers and crossed-fingers are appreciated! <3

well. i am slightly devastated. i called yesterday about the job i interviewed for last week (since he said he'd call me by tuesday and he hadn't) to find out that despite a great interview, i was not selected. i tried my best to be gracious but as soon as i hung up, i cried. i cried every time i thought about it..every time i thought, "i am such a loser." loser. a word rarely found in my vocabulary but a way i've been feeling lately as time drags on. interview after interview. time after time of being told things like, "you're smart," "you're bright," "you have a lot of potential," "the right position will come along and you'll know it's the one," etc. it's hard to want to get excited for interviews because given my track record, what's the point?! i didn't tell my parents until late last night because i just felt so ashamed. i yelled at them (my dad) for not being more supportive of the way i was feeling...defeated, like a loser. i cried after taking B out..sat on her bed with my head in my hands and tears falling down my face (she tried to lick my tears, so sweet)...and then i went to bed.
today is a brand new day. i'm still sad. i still feel defeated, and even still like a loser. but that word doesn't hold same amount of weight today as it did yesterday. it's a job. i wanted it really badly. not just because it was a job for the jobless, but because of where it was...it meant going back to the charlotte area and getting out of raleigh..this rut. but, they didn't pick me. there's nothing i can do about it and i know that it's their loss. it does me no good to just sit around and cry about it. and, i'm proud to say that today, no tears fell. even when i thought about that word, loser. no tears because i know that i'm not.

God has a plan for me, of that i am sure. this plan, which is unknown to me, i cling to. because without my God, my faith, my world would be dark and i would be defeated. life goes on...there are more jobs to apply for and someday (soon, i hope), someone will say, "jessica, we choose you." to which i will respond, "it's about damn time!" ;)

update

just a quick update...

last wednesday, i had an interview for a county planner position. it went well..i should know by tuesday what the outcome of that position will be. on that very same day, i have another interview for a city planner/code enforcement officer position. i hope that one will go as well as last week's interview did. please say a prayer for me...i would like to be able to resolve my employment situation asap. of the two, i'd prefer the county job over the city just based on the fact that i prefer county planning over municipal...both are in great areas (near charlotte) and would be great opportunities. thank you!

sigh of relief

GREAT NEWS!! At 2:45pm today, I made a "specific payment of balance" on my final credit card (hsbc) of $617.77. I do believe this was my first credit card (either that or citibank)..in college. it has been following me around ever since..and although the account has been closed for quite awhile now, the balance hung around...until now! FINALLY the last payment has been made! and so, i will continue the journey to becoming debt free! i still have car payments (just over 2 yrs' worth @ 0.9%) and the debt due to the bank of mom and dad...but for now, i will CELEBRATE just a tiny bit more of financial FREEDOM!! :D

intentions for august...

pay my remaining credit card balance IN FULL!! bye bye debt! :D

church @ summit

baby painting for the wofford family (my 1st commission!)

painting for hannah's birthday

necklace board (it's leaning now, but i need support on the backside & to add trim)

large art storage unit (disassembled & resized, but i've decided to paint while in its current state)

art supply storage unit (using leftovers from resized lg. unit)

new photo for linkedin account

bathroom touchups

read chelsea handler's book

trip to goodwill

interview, 8/10 :D

something i'm involved with at my internship...more to do next week! :)

(site plan review for apartments with UGLY architectural elevations. l.s. asked me to do some drawings to illustrate what changes could be made to the exteriors to make them compliant with UDO and PUD requirements as well as what would just plan make them more attractive! it's hard to see b/c it's on tracing paper...)

july

serveRDU july 13-16 (diaper drive)

31$ tithe

progressive payment (considering full payment?)

bcbs (321.08$ vs. 622$ cobra premium...duh!)

necklace board (prime/paint trim, attach trim, hang, new hooks..)

redo art "cube" (paint, reassemble); supply storage

sort/organize/purge/pack/etc.

bathroom touchups

job hunt continues...

cancel membership

goodwill

sketch-up

paintings for two anniversaries

paintings for hg and as

ironing marathon

new photo for linkedin profile

june 16th...

twenty-eight years ago at 8:52am colorado time, so 10:52am here, my wonderful mother and father welcomed me into the world. it seems odd that i'm about to be twenty-eight but i will still be celebrating with my family. i made a dinner reservation at paparazzi (an italian restaurant in lafayette village, north raleigh). dinner will be followed by cupcakes and gifts at the house. (a couple weeks ago, a co-worker brought in cupcakes for her birthday from a bakery just beyond the apex town limits in cary called simply cakes. i only had one but it was AMAZING. just the right size, not mini but not oversized. vanilla cake with strawberry mousse filling (surprise!) and "white" icing. fyi: thursdays are $1 cupcake days.) :)

my life is not what i expected it to be at this point in my life, but in most ways, it's way better. i have a lot to be thankful for and i am very appreciative for the life i have and the people who are on this journey with me. thank you to all of my family and sweet friends / acquaintances for making the past 27 years mostly wonderful. ;) 28 will be great, but hopefully even better.

anyways...happy birthday to me. :)

lyin' here with you so close to me

it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe

caught up in this moment

caught up in your smile

i've never opened up to anyone

so hard to hold back when i'm holding you in my arms

we don't need to rush this

let's just take it slow

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch of the fire burning so bright

no i don't want to mess this thing up

i don't want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i've been waiting for my whole life

so baby, i'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

i know that if we give this a little time

it will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find

it's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch of the fire burning so bright

no i don't want to mess this thing up

i don't want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i've been waiting for my whole life

so baby, i'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

no i don't want to say goodnight

i know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams

tonight

tonight

tonight

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch of the fire burning so bright

no i don't want to mess this thing up

i don't want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i've been waiting for my whole life

so baby, i'm alright, oh let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight

with a kiss goodnight

kiss goodnight

lady antebellum ~ just a kiss

lyrics

how is it already june?!

move 151 into savings account (jan-may 1/day savings)

30 into money jar for the month

summit..i have not missed a saturday in 3 months. :)

order teeth whitening trays from dentist

necklace board (finish painting, add hooks/hardware, hang)

floral installation (sand, add lining/stripe fabric, hardware, flowers, hang)

bathroom touchups (fill holes, sand, paint)

lynda.com / sketchup

read 2 books: water for elephants, coaching third

goodwill donations

pack away cool weather duds ~ summer starts on the 21st!

ikea

put together ikea cabinet (new), add doors, glass shelves

prime/paint parentals' closet while they are in md/pa

thoroughly CLEAN the garage while the parentals are gone

clean my bathroom

reorganize underbed storage/dressers/closet/etc.

**eligible for "new every two" on 6/7 -- i'm leaning towards a blackberry**

side story: my grandma sent me what i consider a significant amount of money to go towards my credit card debt. (i say that b/c to some, the amount may not be all that significant.) i used all but 200 of the money towards my balance...leaving the remaining balance to be just about two weeks' worth of unemployment benefits. remember my plan to be debt-free by my 30th birthday? i'll be 28 on the 16th. so in honor of my vow and about a year early...

***birthday present to myself: paying off the remaining balance / say goodbye to hsbc FOREVER!***

birthday flower

here is miss bella on her birthday. it was quite a challenge for her to hold still, look at me and let me take pictures of her with her flower headband on. the better pics are on my real camera, but this will have to do. so, happy birthday my sweet! i love you!! :D

good intentions

~ $31 in money jar and/or give $31 as a tithe at church
~ summit on saturdays
~ dentist appointment: done! (but i have to go back for fillings, boo)
~ necklace board: final on white, grey trim, add hooks, install hardware & hang
~ floral installation: sand, final on white, add fabric, hardware, flowers & hang
~ move low dresser back into my room
~ continue to work on bonus room (i did assemble the ikea cabinets - doors, and clear a bunch of space for my grandma's arrival)
~ the sort/purge/organize/pack saga continues
~ goodwill/church donations
~ pack away cold weather clothing/misc.
~ paintings for adina, beth and paul
~ serious chat with blake
~ plan for tax refund; open savings account
~ design bed options
~ movies: fast 5, something borrowed, bridesmaids, water for elephants
~ upload pictures; more posts with pics
~ container store/ikea
~ install doors on ikea cabinets + glass shelves
~ job packets (3 mailed 5/9)
~ spend time on lynda.com
* remember to take my pill at 9pm every night! ;)

happy birthday

to my sweet, furry, four-legged best friend...BELLA BEAN. today we will celebrate her 3rd birthday! i got her a new bed (for her inside lounging), some extra-sweet cookies, her spa day last week, and a pink flower headband...i love my furry Bean so much. :) enjoy these photos of my pretty girl!

easter 2011

fall 2010

summer 2009

4 mos - sept 2008

end of april

i accomplished about 1/2 of my good intentions for the month....

~ money jar: i took the $30 i would've saved and gave it to the summit for the believe project (which by the way, the church raised over $1 million).

~ church at least twice: i went 5 for 5. :)

~ contact paper in bathroom: cabinet and back of the etigere (i did take pictures, to post eventually).

~ hung steeple photos (on either side of my closet) & flower prints (over my bed).

~ closet overhaul: seasonal change complete..still working on it though!

~ annual appt: done & test results are all clear!

~ i no-sew hemmed all 4 of my curtains...hooray!

~ sprayed the floral plaques & they now look white-white...i just need to spray a clear coat b/c i miss the sheen. :)

i'm going to take a couple days and think about may before i post good intentions...what a month!

1/4 done...

good intentions for april...

~ $1/day into money jar

~ church @ the summit (i went 4 for 4 in march!)

~ plug holes/paint touchups (bathroom)

~ redo new contact paper in 3rd drawer of chest

~ contact paper in bathroom (cabinet & tower)

~ floral installation (changed from white to silver flowers found at target)

~ necklace board (as part of overhaul, to be hung over chest)

~ hang steeple photos, floral prints

~ closet overhaul (change of seasons in my wardrobe; donations)

~ bonus room: sort!, new art/etc. storage solutions; IKEA cabinets; 3rd bin for wrapping paper from TCS

~ schedule annual appointment

desire: to build a platform bed with storage that can support a box spring & mattress, with beadboard/post headboard. anything i've found that i like, is over $1200. i think i can do it for less..with my dad's help of course! :)

opportunity!

last week, i had an interview for an internship opportunity with a town near raleigh. it's a part-time, unpaid gig but i am pleased to announce: i got the offer! FINALLY! after over a year, it's my first bite. i'm excited. they say they're busy and in need of an intern, so we'll see. i start tuesday @ 10am. i'm thinking 10a - 2p three days a week, but that will be finalized next week.

yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! :)

thoughts on the bachelor

i've always liked emily. i thought she seemed very genuine and sweet. my heart broke the first time i heard her story. i'll admit, i have a girl-crush on emily. she seems so classy and ladylike, not like the way many are (edited to be) drunk whores. i am currently watching the "after the final rose" special. when emily said that she would not move to austin today and the audience more or less booed her...how can she just pick up and move? she has a daughter who should be getting ready to start the first grade! besides that, they need time to get to know each other. and yes, they can do that in austin too, but i wouldn't just pick up and move unless i was sure. i think she just wants to be sure. i find no fault in that at all.

thoughts on the final episode...

i had heard rumors brad was going to choose chantal. first of all, you weren't swimming with sharks. you were in a cage, up against a boat, watching sharks swim around you. also, how is being in a cage with sharks going to define your relationship? lame.

i think if this show occurred when brad was in his early 30's (you know, the 1st time), he would've chosen chantal. she showed him everything for free (hello, white shirt?!). emily is a lady, with a child. i think he's pushing 40 and is ready to settle down and start a family..not have fun & travel the world.

i am excited he chose emily..but sad because i still say she's too good for him. but, if they really do love each other, i hope it works out for them.

also, i do not want to date the next bachelor or bachelorette. i just want to watch the people who do make fools of themselves on television.

p.s. how are roberto and ali a success? they haven't gotten married yet!

p.p.s. who is going to be the next bachelorette if chantal is in a relationship?!

p.p.p.s. (or however it goes) should i mention how much i have teared up in the past two hours? i hope i meet THAT man one day..only God knows.

i love "reality" television because it almost always makes me feel better about me and my life. :)

update on intentions

i'm only 9 days into march, but i thought i'd give an update on the status of my goals for this month...

a GREENVILLE...ecu was on break, so dt was dead BUT i did get qt w/ beana, banana, jax & her adorable son, gage. :)

a $1/day...i put $31 in the jar on the 1st, bringing my 3 month total to $90.

a church...already been to the summit twice. we started a new lesson last week, so i bought the accompanying study guide so i can get more out of jd's sermons.

a reframe "jessica"...done on 3/1. it looks gorg & i think better than when it was gold & yellow (pics to come).

a hang floral plaques in bathroom...done yesterday. (i still need to patch & paint holes from the now-dead towel rod.)

a move white dresser to computer room & reorganize...done 3/2.

a TV is on the cart (it's so high, it's like being at the movies! lol.)

a the completely uncomfortable futon has been pushed to the side & my sofa (that's been living downstairs in the nook for nearly a year!) is currently under my tooshie while i watch my high-rise tv. :)

a hand-painted gift for ldb turned out ADORABLE! (pics to come) she loved it & other women loved it as well (might have some orders coming in?!)

a dentist appt. is scheduled for the first week in may. hey--at least i have one lined up!

** also, this morning, i had an interview for a part-time, unpaid internship opportunity near raleigh. i don't mind the part-time or unpaid aspects, i just wanna get back in there! (and the added resume boost is a given bonus!) :)

start to march

an hour left in the month of february. time flies! i did pretty well on my intentions for the month by accomplishing about half of my list: 1) on the 3rd, i put all 28$ in my money jar for the month and plan to do the same for march; 2) i went to church twice, complete with communion & hearing/seeing clayton king preach; 3) finish, pack & ship the gift to georgia for leah/kyle/baby emery!! (hopefully it will arrive just before she does!); 4) finish my prep work for the gym; 5) box & label linens/towels/etc.; 6) continued skin care regimen.

also, last week, my sister and i went to see the new familiars at the pour house. it was awesome! (we got, okay..rephrase..i bought us t-shirts & a cd for me)

so, here's my list for march:

* GREENVILLE 3/2-4 (adina is in nc from orlando & i need QT with my little one!)

~ put 1$/day in my money jar (or 31$ all at once)

~ go to church at least twice

~ reframe "jessica" -> i did spray (hopefully) a final coat

~ plug holes/paint touchups in bathroom

~ hang floral plaques (currently in my room) in bathroom

~ move white dresser to computer room & reorganize

~ put TV on cart & carry coffee table to attic

~ floral installation (get wood/prime & paint/hardware/flowers/hang)

~ hang steeple photos (2) (where plaques were?!)

~ hang floral prints (3)

~ HEADBOARD!!

~ bonus room (sort/storage/make space for my sofa/etc.)

~ hand-painted gift for ldb (hopefully in time for her shower on 3/5!)

~ dr. appts. (lady/dentist/physical)

~ continue skin care regimen

i PROMISE, once my bathroom & bedroom are complete, i will post pictures!

transparency

i am challenged each day to live an honest, God-focused life. i'd like to think i'm doing a better job but each day brings its own set of challenges..it is my hope that i can return to the me i used to be, so in love with Jesus, ready and willing to worship, pray and listen, in spite -- or more, because of --what i have been through in my 27 years (particularly at age 12, 21, 22, & 26). He saved me, before i even knew what it really meant to have my life saved. He taught me to give it all over to Him; He is the reason i believe in the ability to forgive..even the worst act.

i am praying for:

* optimism

* faith

* thirst only God can quench

* ability to start to to turn away from my vice (idea: use that money to tithe instead)

* ability to let go of the people that don't deserve to be in my life

what are you praying for this week?

i heart spring

even though it technically isn't spring, it is in the stores! my mom and i spent the afternoon at southpoint. we both had coldwater creek gift cards and i had a return for the loft (sweater that my folks gave me for valentine's day). i had great luck! :)

~ coldwater creek: gift card 71.21$. they were running a promo on certain items + my mom had a 30$ off 100$ purchase. i got a cute top and a jacket i'd been looking at (but in blue instead, since i already have a few black jackets). full price @ 119.90$ + tax. after the discounts and my gift card, the total amount due was 4.11$. (and my mom put the balance on one of her gift cards, so i paid nothing.) amazing! :)

~ ann taylor loft: return 79.50$. they were doing 25% off your entire purchase today. i got an exposed back zipper sweater and a sea blue stitched skirt. full price @ 109.00; - return = 29.50$. but with the promo, it was 81.76 - 79.50 with an amount due of 2.26$. better! :D

~ belk: my mom bought me a pair of super cute shoes (see photos)..so, technically, for my wallet, they were free; saving me 85.12$. best!

~ among my miscellaneous purchases: clinique makeup & eyeshadow + free gift = 39.33$; mumford & sons cd on sale from 11.99 to 9.99 = 10.76$; 3 birthday cards at hallmark = 8.29$; and a pkg. of 5 paint pens (even though i only needed 1) 16.99 - 50% off coupon = 9.15$... = 67.53$.

if you add up everything at full price, it equals 372.60$. i paid 69.79$. so fun! :D

happy valentine's day!

hope you are using this day to spend time with the one(s) you love

and those who love you in return.

today is my dad's 68th birthday.

and while my family is out to dinner, i am stuck at home..sick. i started to feel ill yesterday...last night i ran a fever, complete with chills, aches & pains, scratchy/sore throat with cough...and now, the nose is beginning to creep in. excellent.

at least i got in my priming marathon last night while i could...i painted in the cold (the heat up front only heats one room!) for nearly 7 hours (with breaks). but both dressing rooms are done with 2 coats and ready for color. :)