peace & strength

Today will be a test of strength. It will be a test of patience and purpose. It will be a test of will power as I swallow my anger and absolute disdain for a particular individual. Friday broke me and my spirit. I was treated in a way no person should ever be treated, especially in the work place. I was spoken to in a manner that I do not tolerate and caused me to instantly lose all respect I had for this individual. I was made to feel like I did something horribly wrong when I didn't; all I did was ask a question. On Friday, I snapped. I was beaten up and drained of all enjoyment I had for my job. I do like my job  but the day-to-day nonsense has really started to bring me down and start looking for a way out. My relationship with this individual had already deteriorated since the addition of a new staff member, but Friday, the relationship was severed. I will suck it up and put on my best face (as I just did) but on the inside, I am done. I had really hoped to stick it out for at least a couple more years -- I knew coming in it wouldn't be a forever kind of gig. But, I don't even know if I'll make it to my four year anniversary. Today is a hard day. But, this situation is only pushing me to try harder, to do better and do everything I can possibly do to push my career forward. And, it's also pushing me closer to my God. I find peace in Him. Yes, this situation absolutely blows but He never promised this life would be easy. All I can do is hope, pray and set my eyes on what's to come...and hopefully, it's better than this.


I am thankful to say that today went really well...surprisingly. We got along just fine. I tried to be cold and moody, but I just couldn't. I don't have a bone in my body that would allow me to act like that for more than a few minutes. But, trust me, I'm not foolish. I will be sending out applications and resumes for every available job that I'm reasonably interested in. And, will continue to pray that I am approved to sit for the exam in October.