As 2013 winds down, pause for a moment of reflection. How did this past year turn out? Was it everything you hoped for? More or less? What changes do you want to make in order to make 2014 stellar?

As I look back on the year that will be "last year" in just over a day, I feel really good. Did I stick to my monthly challenges? No, but I haven't had candy since March (chocolate doesn't count). Did I gain some financial ground? Yes, deciding to move was a huge part of that as was taking Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University." And I did pay off my car. I find the blue days are fewer and fewer and the desire to be an asset for my new town (job) much more desirable and the added bonus of being able to sleep later by showering at night doesn't hurt.

I have a day to ponder my intentions for the new year...what do I want to get out of this life in 2014? Hmm...

time

holy cow. it's already nearly the end of 2013! time certainly does flies! well, i'm officially living in my new apartment and loving it! i'm still getting settled, organized and getting things hung. also, it's time to decorate for Christmas...the tree is up with lights but no ornaments yet. this week, i'll work on finishing decorating for the holidays (at least my little tree at work is up and decorated) and over the weekend, do my cards to send out on monday. next weekend (12/21), we're gonna have another family christmas meal since neal goes home for christmas every year (& we missed him at thanksgiving this year too!). i don't know when he and i will have "our christmas" - maybe that friday.

anyhow...i split the previous post and this one into two because they just didn't really seem to go together. boys being buttheads (and acknowledging prior butthead-ery) and monthly goals. not exactly a winning combination. hehe.

here are my intentions for December 2013.
regular life...
* Christmas in the Park event with work: F 12/6
* mail book/magazine back to L.S.
* take clothes to dry cleaners
* finish hand-drawn map project for work (this will probably turn into a january task)
* church @ bay leaf
* finish "nesting": organize, decorate & purge
* THE NEW FAMILIARS @ tir na nog Th 12/19
* office closed: T 12/24 - Th 12/26

holiday...* decorate: tree, DIY wreath/garlands, etc. i skimped on decorating this year - only lights on the tree, no ornaments; no holiday wreath on the door (mostly b/c ECU played on 12/23)...
* finish Christmas shopping (grandma & neal)
* finish wrapping gifts
* do DIY gifts* ship gifts by 12/16
* do cards & mail by 12/16
i wish you and yours a blessed holiday season! Merry Christmas!

past relationships

 

in recent weeks, I've had 2 exes reach out. I put off one of them..mostly since I refer to him not by name but as "douchey dude." the other? the other one was referred to as "the great love of my life." remember him? he's still married and doesn't live in nc, so I figured he was safe. one thing I get joy from reconnecting with past likes/loves/etc., is when they apologize for being buttheads. he confessed that he did in fact love me and screwed up with me. I loved him so much back then so it was nice to know that the feelings were, in fact, reciprocated. but, we were young back then and I think, quite honestly, that the way and the magnitude of my love was too much for him. so he married someone else. I hated him for a long time, which I told him. but, it's water under the bridge. if I hadn't loved him the way I had, I don't know that I would know that I am capable of loving a man that much. can I say that I love the boyfriend like that? honestly, no. but, it's situational. the boyfriend has always treated me well, with respect and love. he doesn't use and abuse me like brad did. he doesn't ignore me or only see me when it's convenient for him. he makes time and wants to spend time with me. quite honestly, I've probably been more of the guy of our relationship. but, I do love him and I do care about him. and, when thinking about the prospect of getting engaged and married, I wouldn't want to be married to anyone else. is that enough? I hope so...because it's all I got. has reconnecting surfaced old feelings? probably. but, even if he hadn't gotten married and I wasn't in a serious, monogamous relationship, it probably wouldn't work. I'm a lot of who I was in my 20's but I'm also a world away of my younger self. I firmly believe and hold on to the ideal that if I hadn't done the things I'd done, dated/spent time with the people I shared my time with, had the experiences I had (awesome and utterly sucky)...I wouldn't be who I am, I wouldn't be where I am, and I certainly wouldn't know what I know NOW. life is about decisions and using your decisions to trudge forward. and so, I trudge forward into the last month of 2013.