october 14, 2010 is a day that changed my life.

i won't get into details because it's not appropriate but i will say that i know God was looking out for me because things could be worse than they are. it's not always about what happened or didn't happen, but it's about how you pick yourself up off the ground, pick up the pieces, put your life back together and move on with your life.

bad things happen, but so do really good things.

like, waking up to my mom in my room telling me that another jurisdiction called and wants to interview me! (monday, october 25 @ 2pm)

confession

i have a confession. i have fallen off the working out wagon. i was going strong there for awhile, completed my foundations courses and then BAM! it all seemed to happen at once. we went out of town for the vt/ecu game. i found out i didn't get one of the jobs that i REALLY wanted (& thought i actually might get) and got pretty depressed. then, once i got over that the world wasn't over and that there are more jobs out there to be had, i got sick (oh, and my ear swelled & burst TWICE during these past few weeks!). that's about 3 weeks of loser-ness. why am i admitting this to the world?! to be held accountable. because like getting to be a planner somewhere new, getting fit & healthier is something i really want to say that i am.

i thought the start of october would mean a fresh start..get back into it, get my life back on track..but last week, i just wasn't into it. plus, i found out that i could go to the women's class at 9am, and that there's a class at 11am, so i wouldn't have to face the people in the 430-7 classes with shame if i didn't want to. i really was going to go today..but i stayed in bed too long. whoops! so tomorrow is the day! i think i may try the 9am class first (but if i miss it, there is the 11am) to see what it's like...i just kinda feel like a big loser. so, that's gonna change.

in job news, i'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear back from the two jobs (va & nc) this week. i'm sending off another packet today (nc) and will be applying for one more job (a HUGE step down, but hey, it's a job)...and then will be waiting for more to post. the end of summer has brought a serious slump in postings..and since i said i'd give this unfortunate turn of events a year, i have until january 19 to find another planning position. after that point, i'll really have to start looking at my options..my mom thinks i'd make a great copy editor/graphic designer/home designer/etc. so it gets me thinking that maybe..just maybe..planning isn't the field for me. being unemployed sucks because you have all this time to doubt yourself. i love planning..i love the people part, the knowing what's coming part, the conflict, the success..everything. so to think that it may not be what i'm supposed to be doing for my career is heartbreaking...heartaching stuff. i've been praying about it..and am anxiously yet patiently waiting to see what God does.

wow, this post was just supposed to be about how i went from a motivated mini-FA to a constantly depressed, less motivated mini-FA and it really turned into a confession on all accounts. well, you can't fault me for being honest.

an update. yesterday i had an impromptu phone interview. usually when a prospective employer leaves a message about wanting an interview, usually the return call is done in order to SET UP the interview. not this one. i called back and the director proceeded to ask me 9-10 questions. i was completely thrown off and not prepared. i tried to recover quickly and will know by next week if i make it to the actual round of interviews. other positive thoughts..i made it through the initial round and into the pre-interview round of another job that i REALLY want (i know i say this a lot, but it's true..this one is near charlotte, i could actually LIVE where i work & still be able to have a life (as opposed to taking a job in bfe)). so, for both jobs, i will know my fate within the next 2-3 weeks.

october

1. JOB

2. finish my room

3. finish the "jessica" redo project

4. unpack/sort/repack my belongings

5. start to work on the bonus room redo

6. gym. i think i'm going to start going at 11am weekdays as opposed to waiting until 430-630 to work out.

7. church. it's a new priority. i really like the summit.

8. whatever else i can fit in...

september

1. JOB (still working on that one)

2. paint my room (DONE)

3. redecorate my room - new bedding, rods, panels, etc. (DONE)

4. frame for my bed (not yet & not a priority)

5. headboard (same as #4)

6. redo the "jessica" piece (it's ready for this weekend!)

7. unpack, sort, repack what i own (not yet but in the immediate future)

8. bonus room (this is related to #7 so see above)

9. gym consistency (blame the vt/ecu game, my week of being depressed, my week of being lazy)

10. church. i went once this month.

11. whatever else (i got TWO massages this month...i gotta use up my prepaid massages before the year runs out!)

how i felt this week..

disappointed.

depleted.

depressed.

unmotivated.

angry.

exhausted.

lost.

waste of space/time/energy/etc.

thursday marked 8 months since my last day at the office. since january, i have applied for 29 positions, had 7 interviews, and here i sit. it sucks. and the truth of the matter is that monday, i got an e-mail from a planning director which informed me another candidate had been selected. this is a municipality i interviewed with when i was first getting into planning, for the same job. i REALLY wanted this one. and the fact of the matter is, that i lost. i lost. i thought it was my best interview yet. i was perky and enthusiastic and felt like i answered the questions better/confidently. and i lost. am i too confident? too perky? too eager? who knows. i even e-mailed this person in hope of getting some feedback (beyond competitive applicant pool & qualified candidate jibber jabber) and/or some tips to no avail. ugh. so this week, was my pity party.

culmination blouse

well behaved jacket

switching lanes cardigan

(navy)

obviously, i got in some retail therapy this afternoon...it was more about getting out of the house. but i am ecstatic to report that these items came home with me. i've been lusting after the blouse and jacket for quite some time..and bonus! last night i found the jacket to be on sale! :) the striped sweater was on sale too! and a pretty bracelet. :) i love anthropologie (although i still believe the stores in charlotte are way better than the one at southpoint).

vs

saturday, september 18

~ 1:30pm

lane stadium ~ blacksburg va

"it's going down! argh!"

it's a new season with a new coach, a new qb and 7,000 additional seats at the stadium (to make 50,000+/-)...sold out crowd for the first game of the season and the pirates did not disappoint! ecu defeats tulsa 51-49! :D

did you see that?!

september 1. how can it already be september?? now it's been nearly 8 months without so much as a bite on the line at a new job...i've had 7 interviews and the past 2 have been ones i REALLY want (not that i wasn't interested in the others, but these 2 have the added bonus of not having to move right away & would give me more time to find a fabulous new home for the two of us). i can say that for both, i made it to the top 11 (and for yesterday's: 440 applications, half made it through the hr screening, and then they narrowed it down to eleven. they'll pick 2-4 candidates who will be interviewed by the director, who will make the final decision. oh, i hope i get a call back!). so, the job hunt remains numero uno on my monthly "to do" list. the rest is as follows:
1. JOB
2. paint my room (eucalyptus, like my bathroom)--planned for LABOR DAY weekend!
3. redecorate my room with new bedding, rods, panels, etc.
4. get a frame for my bed, since the one it's currently on is the one i brought back from charlotte in march/april.
5. make a headboard?!
6. redo the "jessica" piece my aunt & uncle gave me years ago. it's a gold frame with a yellow mat, cut with "jessica," and a white back mat. so, i want to spray the frame silver/nickel (or find a ready-made frame), paint the yellow mat dark gray, green or eucalyptus, and remount it.
7. go through EVERYTHING i brought back that's boxed up, sort and re-pack/re-box.
8. start to work on the bonus room...this is a HUGE project and will take more than a month, i'm sure.
9. stay consistent with the gym...finally get some sort of muscle tone, preferably around my middle. ;)
10. church. i went last saturday to the summit and would like to go again..saturdays are more ideal than sunday mornings!
11. whatever else i can cram into this month!

hope everyone has a great month and a great labor day weekend.