february.

fiscal.
**it's a 2 pay day month so money is going to be tight.**
1. pay at least $50.00 on snowball #1
2. pay at least $200.00 on snowball #2 paid 50% on 2/10
3. pay at least $100.00 on snowball #3
4. rent/water/misc. payment $1100.00+/-
5. bills beyond rent and debt payments: car insurance (2/9), cell phone (2/15), electric (2/21), internet (2/15)
6. purchase gifts for march birthdays (mom & bestie)
7. STOP SPENDING MONEY!! Take returns back to stores.

physical.
1. consistent sleep schedule - Sun - Thurs: go to sleep by 10pm, rise by 4:30am (M-F)
2. consistent work out schedule - Mon - Fri: 4:30am, Sat-Sun: 8am
3. use R+F regularly
4. improve dental regime - brush/floss after every meal; coconut oil pull 3x/week; whiten teeth
5. quit

fun.
1. church 2/5, 2/12, 2/19, 2/26
2. babysit 2/4
3. dad's birthday 2/5 | party 2/4
4. super bowl sunday 2/5
5. hair appt. (highlights) 2/11
6. valentine's day 2/14
7. crush @ WW 2/25
8. mardi gras 2/28

8 to 5.
1. website subcommittee 2/2
2. town council 2/2
3. code enforcement brief 2/3
4. website updates - ongoing
5. newsletter release 2/2 (2/6)
6. pay days 2/10, 2/24
7. path forward 2/22
8. ncazo workshop 2/27-28

unplug. delete. let go.

"Eat better. Run more. Squat more. Sleep earlier. Wake up earlier. Make a good breakfast. Drink water. Eat fruits. Read books. Adventure. Talk less. Listen more. Feel deeper. Love better. Open your eyes. Experience life. Be happy."

I took a step towards a more stress-free life. I deleted the fb app off my phone. Maybe one day I'll delete my account, but for now, just getting rid of the insta-access is a breath of fresh air. All the negativity and cyber bullying I've witnessed and experienced, especially in the past year or so with the emphasis on politics. I appreciate all the friends I have and the fact that we don't all value the same things or want the same things, but it was time. I'll continue to post on ig - because it seems to be positive real with more uplifting content. So, I'll keep posting about decor, food, work outs and good words. It's only been a day, and while it feels weird to not see what other people are doing and saying, I really DON'T CARE. The people that I really care about (family, friends) - we communicate in other ways already so I don't have to rely on social media to keep up with them.

The goal is to slowly unplug. To read more. To interact more with the "outside world." To love myself enough to get off the phone. It shouldn't be so hard to be happy and with all the stress of dealing with everyone's version of crazy..it just became too much. Too much of a burden on my heart. For someone who feels so much of everything, it was too much to bear. It was affecting my emotional health and overall happiness; which, is sad to admit. But, I care about people and want everyone to be happy and kind. We can disagree but if we're assholes to each other, and just plain cruel, no progress will happen. The 2017 Presidential election is a prime example of that. Just sayin'...

Be kind to one another. It's the least we can do.

january.

fiscal
1. pay at least $200.00 on snowball #1 minimum paid 1/13 (need to pay $175.00 more to meet goal)
2. pay at least $200.00 on snowball #2 minimum paid 1/13 (need to pay $9.00 more to meet goal)
3. pay minimums for car insurance, rewards account
4. rent/+ payment = $1100.00+/-
5. pay my bills on time and in full (accidentally missed cell phone payment in december): cell phone; electric; internet
6. pinch my pennies & fill my piggy bank :)

physical
1. sleep/work out consistently
a. sunday - thursday: bed by 10pm | monday - friday: up at 4am to work out
b. monday - friday: work out 4:30 - 5:30am | saturday - sunday: work out by 9:00am
2. use R+F regularly
3. pill it up! (b12, vitamin c, probiotic) (do i need to add a magnesium supplement or what about iron?)
4. improve dental regimine: brush/floss after every meal; coconut oil pull 3x/week; whiten teeth
5. annual physical (+12 hr. fast) 1/17

fun
1. attend church at least twice: 1/1, 1/8, 1/15, 1/22, 1/29
2. finish setting up new apartment
3. dry cleaners
4. love tribe 1/14
5. sort/organize file cabinets (update files)
6. set up calendars/studying schedule for exam

work
1. town council 1/5
2. p&r advisory committee 1/9 cancelled
3. county rac + joint county rec & greenways meeting 1/12
4. path forward committee 1/25
5. cwep 1/31
6. website subcommittee
7. office closed 1/2, 1/16
8. pay days 1/13, 1/27

2017.

goals for 2017

pay off snowball #1 (Jan - Mar)
pay off snowball #2 (Jan - Nov)
close both accounts
reduce rewards balance by at least $1000.00
give at least $100.00 to good causes (A21, ALS, LLS, etc.)
attend church at least 2x/month
read at least 4 books (1 every 3 months)
pass certification exam (May)
pay car insurance in full for July
purge! donate! learn to live with less... (make at least 3 donation runs to DRM)
quit!
whiten teeth (using coconut oil and smile sciences)
splurge with a massage at least 3x/year (3 x $80 = $240 + tips)
continue to focus on ME (consistent work out and sleep schedules, better meal prep, try new recipes, etc.)

december.

This year has just flown by! It is already December 2...I have been so busy with my exam prep and moving, I've hardly had time to breath. This first week back at work has royally sucked. But, it could be worse I guess. Next year, I'll be vested at 5 years - almost the longest I've worked anywhere, which is slightly sad because I really enjoyed my years at Z Gallerie (5.5-6) even though I got paid peanuts. I didn't have the need for a gym during that time because a) I was in my 20's and still had a reasonably high metabolism and b) I ran around that place at a feverish pace most of the time. I really did love that place. ANYWAYS...back to the present. Here's what's happening and my goals for the last month of 2016.

fiscal.

1. Last rent payment for old apartment - lease ends 12/7. $254.00

a) W/S/T payment +/- $60.00 

2. First full month's payment for new apartment. $999.00

a) This payment includes rent, cable, trash, and pest control fees

b) Waiting for water/sewer bill

3. Bills: car insurance ($90), cell phone ($75), internet ($55 -- with a portion from old apartment)

4. Debt: rewards ($60 m), snowball #1 ($25 m), snowball #2 ($200 m)

5. Christmas: All gifts have been purchased by 12/1 and some even wrapped!

a) Shipping gifts to Colorado, Florida and North Carolina 12/12 - 12/16

6. Exam: Early bird window 12/1-12/7. $75.00 (to retake exam May 2017)

physical.

now that my exam is over and the move is done, i can refocus and center myself yet again. even with the holidays, hopefully i won't overindulge and/or overdo it.

1. Sunday - Thursday: in bed by 9 pm | Monday - Friday: up at 4 am to work out

2. Monday - Friday: work out 4:30 - 6:00 am | Saturday - Sunday: work out by 9 am

3. Quit

4. R+F: get back on track with this as well...my face has been going a little crazy over the past month or so with inconsistent applications

5. Pills, pills, pills: empty the pill box every week (B12, vitamin C, probiotic)

6. Floss/brush after each meal, even at work | coconut oil pull 3x/week | whiten teeth

fun.

1. church: 12/4, 12/11, 12/18, 12/24

2. play in new apartment! :) [sort/organize/purge, hang curtains, organize clothes, storage, hang art (after thoughtful consideration)]

3. dry cleaners

4. repair walls, clean old apartment 12/3-12/5 | turn in keys by 12/7

5. Christmas Eve 12/24 | Christmas Day 12/25 | New Year's Eve 12/31

6. iron/steam clothes

7. mail Christmas cards by 12/15

work.

1. town council 12/1

2. pictures with santa 12/2

3. ctp meeting 12/6

4. senior christmas social 12/8

5. planning board 12/8

6. website committee meeting 12/12
7. pfc meeting 12/14

8. rpo tac/tcc meeting 12/14

9. gtc meeting 12/15
10. boa meeting 12/15

11. office closed: 12/22, 12/23, 12/26

12. pay days: 12/2, 12/16, 12/30

More thoughts on the election...

While I should be solely focused on last-minute preparations for my exam on Tuesday(!), I remain plagued by the election and the reactions on both sides, namely the "left." I am sincerely empathetic to how the people who wanted HC to be the next president and do not claim DT as their president. I am. Even as a person who voted for DT (although if BS had been the democratic candidate, he may have received my vote because I actually liked him as opposed to my opinions about HC), I KNOW that he was very vocal against many protected groups, religions and cultures and that many view my vote for him as a vote in favor of those aspects of his candidacy. As the "left" calls those who voted for DT racists, homophobes, and other hateful labels, I can't help but get angry. While I cannot understand fully what it means to be gay or black or hispanic or Muslim or any other group that feels threatened by the fact that the "right" seems to reject these people, I am empathetic to the way they feel. I am not racist or homophobic. I care about a person's character. What moves me so much about these protests is that they seem to contradict in some ways, what the "left" stands for and a disrespect of the American democratic system.

I will admit, when our current president was first elected eight years ago, I wasn't happy. He was not my first choice and still wasn't four years later. But, I could appreciate and applaud the fact that he was our first black president. Did I get over my feelings about him during his term? Not really but I still supported him as our president. His success was my success, his failures my failures.

I do want to touch on HB2 as well. This was a widely discriminatory bill that was passed a few months ago in North Carolina. While it was dubbed the "Bathroom Bill," there were so many other aspects that were discriminatory that the media failed to cover. Politicians are sneaky creatures. Regarding the restroom aspect of this bill, it was one incident that spawned this legislation. ONE incident. There is little to no documentation or any trend in these types of incidents and yet here we are, with a law that has affected SO many people. I did not support it and wanted to smack our governor. I can respect his position and his fervor of support and refusal to back down to the media, to the "left," etc. but I can still disagree with him. It's called compassion.

Compassion. Something this nation (and the world) could use a lot more of. This election cycle brought out some of the deepest and darkest aspects of people's character that I wish I could unsee. Such hate and lack of general humanity displayed on both ends of the spectrum.

You know what? I'm sorry (not sorry) that your candidate did not win. The seemingly impossible happened. I didn't even really think DT had a legitimate chance at winning but when you (middle America, Christians, Republicans, etc.) feel bullied, forgotten, beat down and have the chance to change the status quo of the past eight years, you will do it. Obviously. And it wasn't just middle-class, white males that voted for him. If that were the case, he wouldn't have won. I think both candidates were poor choices for the presidency but it is what it is. Those were our choices. Think about how many people didn't even bother to vote for president. That should tell the "left" think that their candidate wasn't the right choice either.

As we move forward in the next few days, weeks and months before DT assumes the position as Commander in Chief, I hope the riots will stop. I hope the violence will stop. Can we talk about the fact that after a boy admitted that he voted for DT in a mock election at school, that he was yanked out of his chair by other boys and beaten up. The teacher was in the room! And, yet, he got beat up. Or the girl who was bullied on social media by a classmate(s) because of her vote in a mock election (the bullies were punished by the school). Or, have you seen the video of the white man who was beaten up by 3-4 (I'm sorry to say) black men for supposedly being a DT supporter? That while he was being brutally beaten, one of the men is seen going through his car, allegedly stealing items from his vehicle and when he tries to pull that man away, he gets hit in the back of the head and further beaten. Horrific. And, because I feel it needs to be said, I would feel just as outraged if it was a black man being assaulted by a group of white men. That kind of violence is inexcusable. And, while those are just a few examples and by no means are identifiable by everyone who is protesting DT's victory, it is an example of how f***ed up everything is. If it was the other way around and Trump supporters were doing all this shit, the "left" would...I don't know what they would do. Laugh? Call us sore losers. So that is what I call them. Sore losers. There is nothing to do about it now. If you are so upset, begin preparing for the next election.

But until then, I hope we can move forward. I hope the hate speech and tantrums will stop. Hopefully, DT can bring about the change he promised and ultimately, that people will support our president and our country.

Oh and RC -- you haven't won yet. Absentee, provisional and military votes still need to be counted. I hope you get egg on your face. But, if you do win, I hope you repeal HB2 and don't completely screw up our state. We could use some reform regarding education, that's for sure. Did you know that in lottery states, that slowly budgets quit funding education and rely solely on profits from the lottery? I did not know that until a few weeks ago...it makes me sick. No wonder we rank so low compared to the rest of the country in education. See? That is one example of why I like having friends and colleagues with different political views. You can learn from each other. I hope the next few months bring unity to this country. And that the man brutally attacked in the intersection gets justice.

Less than 40 hours until IT is time... 

.

Thoughts on Vote 2016. 
This election cycle was extremely passionate on both sides of the spectrum. People are hurting that the people they voted for lost while others are celebrating that their voices were heard and their votes were counted. Throughout this cycle, it's been the far left and the far right that seemed to yell the loudest and the people in the middle remained silent. The outcomes proved that they would be silent no longer. The hate spewed on both sides left me feeling...sad. I always believe in the best of people but this election has left me...angry. 

 "Congratulations to the uneducated, white Americans on their victory. We hear your racism and homophobia loud and clear."

"I'm so confused to see so many strong, smart women that are so excited to have a life-long self-admitted womanizer in the Oval Office. Did I miss something?"

This divisive language is exactly what I hate about politics. To me, the first one means that educated, non-white, non-racist, gay Americans had no place voting for anyone but Hillary Clinton. The second, that a woman should vote for Hillary purely based on the fact that she's a woman. Both are just wrong. They also imply that, for example, black people should have voted for Obama just because he was black. Dumb. But, I am way more offended by the first post. The left claims to be inclusive and this post does the exact opposite. The left calls the evangelical Christian a hypocrite for voting for Trump. I call their hate hypocritical by being from the "inclusive, every voice matters" party. It's all just crap.

I am an educated, white American woman who is not a racist, not a bigot. I voted for Trump. Here are some reasons why:

- I do not support Hillary Clinton. She's been in politics for 30 years and if you ask people what she's done that's good, I've yet to hear a response that's credible. We can talk about her flaws - e-mails, Benghazi, not calling terrorist attacks as such, etc.

- I wasn't crazy about Trump either. But, given the choices, I would much rather give my vote to him than her.

- He is not a politician and he won. In the early rounds, I liked him because he made the career politicians think and he had something to say. Now, he's been elected. To me, it tells our children that you can be anything you want to be. You could be president one day. Would I prefer if he had a little more political experience, absolutely; but, it is not a requirement.

- I am not an Obama supporter. I did not vote for him in 2008 nor in 2012. He, like Clinton, has turned a blind eye to the Muslim/terrorist attacks and the attacks on American soil. The fact that he didn't go to the site where 4 Americans were killed on American soil as the result of a terrorist attack because he was on vacation, was crap.

- I don't support Obamacare. The idea itself, it works in other countries. But we are not set up like those other countries. I think it needed a lot more forethought before implementation and it screwed a lot of people and small businesses. Here in NC, there are only 2 insurance carriers now participating. And the rates at which they provide insurance are sky-high. How is that fair?

- As a non-Obama supporter and knowing that Clinton would mean more of the same, why would I support that?

- I am not opposed to a woman being president. I'm just not sure she is the right choice to break the "glass ceiling." Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it will be years before we have another woman befitting of the title of Commander in Chief. Time will tell.

- Immigration: I do not support building a wall. But, I do support the deportation of illegal immigrants. To say that the illegal immigrants are doing jobs Americans wouldn't want to do, may be true. But, "we" aren't given that option. The labor is cheap yes. But most of the money made does not go into our economy. That's a stereotype and I know it but it's also true in a lot of cases. If the illegal immigrants want to apply for citizenship and go through the proper channels, then by all means, stay. But, coming here, having babies, driving without licenses, etc. is a drain on our system.

- Refugees. As a Christian, I understand the argument that we should not turn away the women and children seeking asylum from what is happening in the Middle East. But, I also believe in the vetting process. We do not have a process sophisticated enough to properly vet these individuals. To open our borders to people whose culture and religion (however corrupt it may be) which supports killing women, children, gays, etc. - everything the left seems to support is just crazy to me. To increase Syrian refugees entrance into our country automatically and by 500%, is just too much. We need to prepare for these individuals - figure out how to provide housing and jobs and healthcare and everything that they would need to feel safe here. And, not just lump them into Syrian camps but be able to fully integrate them into our society. I love people from all backgrounds, religions, sexual orientation, colors...but I also support the process.

- The hate being spewed on the other side wasn't bringing me over to their team. I have always considered myself a moderate. There are some issues that I support that are very left and others that are very right side of the fence. I had to pick a side. I wasn't going to waste my right to vote.

- The compassion the left claims to provide is negated by their hate speech. I have refused to "unfriend" people on facebook based on politics, but this election may do it for me. I don't unfriend because I like hearing from all sides and it makes me think about issues in ways that I may not necessarily consider based on where I am in this process called living. But, it just seems that the respect I extend to others is not being offered back. There is only so much I can take before I scream. This is why I write this post (and also, because I don't know who reads my blog these days anyways).

There are people claiming to leave the US because Trump won the election. And to that I say, 'go ahead." I would rather wait and see what happens. We still have 70+ days before he takes office and begins his job as our President. But, if you are so upset that you just can't handle it, then you should go. Turn in your citizenship and beat it. I hear New Zealand is nice. 

The message was clear during this cycle - use your right to vote! Have your voice heard! The people did and now the left/liberals are so surprised at the outcome. It makes me laugh, really. They were so sure HC would win and that Trump didn't have a real chance and that just wasn't true. You can call me uneducated. I will show you my diploma and various professional certifications. I will show you my pay stubs. You call me a racist and a homophobe, I will show you compassion. You spit on me, I will turn the other cheek. 

Ultimately, this election and outcome don't matter. This is not my home. Hillary Clinton is not my savior and neither is Trump. Jesus Christ is my Savior and I will continue to give him my praise and adoration. We will be okay. Everything will be okay...until the rapture comes.

Where do Christians go from here?